Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Have A Good Wife

There’s a difference between being a good woman, and being a good wife. I have known many good women over the years who would not necessarily be very good wives. But, to be a good wife one has to first be a good woman, the two are very inter-related.

I’m not an expert on wives, or women, for that matter. But I am an expert on what applies to, and relates to, me. My wife certainly fits well within those parameters. And she is a good wife. Some women consider being described as ‘a good wife’ to be an insult. I suppose that’s because they, myopically, choose to relate to the description as the totality of what they are seen to be. But I don’t think anyone ever meant to describe their own wife as ‘only’ a good wife, and nothing else, at least not anybody you’d really care to know. I think being a good wife is one of the highest callings a woman can aspire to, not necessarily the highest calling, but surely one of the highest. I would say the same about a good husband, but I don’t have one of those. I try to be one of those, but I’ve never had one of those, so I can’t really speak to that.

I’m not really sure I can even define ‘a good wife’, let alone describe, what makes a good wife. I think a man just knows it when he has one. My wife and I don’t agree on everything all of the time, we don’t see eye to eye on everything, and we don’t even necessarily like all of the same things. We are frequently in good moods at different times, in bad moods at different times, in unpredictable moods even, and, consequently, we don’t always find ourselves to be in sync with one another. But I guess not being in sync is the byproduct of two individuals with different physical, emotional, and psychic chemistries. Sometimes we are in sync. Being in sync with one’s husband, however, is not really the primary criteria for being a good wife. That much I do know. I think being a good wife has more to do with wanting to be a good wife, than in knowing how to be one. I think it has to do with the intent of the heart.

I am fortunate enough to be married to a woman whose intentions are born in, and of, a very good heart.