Wednesday, March 11, 2015

You Have to Wear the Bell

 Traveling through Europe in the early eighties I spent some time in Switzerland.  I remember it fondly.  A very proper land.  A very clean land.  Cream land.  Chocolate land.  Cheese land. 
Ducks on every lake.  They put them there so you'll know it's water and not glass.  Cows on every hill, and in every field.  Swiss cows.  Happy cows.  Very sanitary and self-confident cows.  The kind you see on milk cartons.  Every cow has a bell.  They wear them so they won't get lost.  Or so they'll know they're cows.  Cows live on the fat of the land . . . . . .  and the benevolence of farmers.  I lived on cheese and chocolate milk.  Both are made from cows.  I remember that whenever I was hungry I wanted to eat some meat.  I just never had the heart to kill the cow.
            Besides, in Switzerland if you kill a cow you have to wear the bell.